But why are men isolated? Because women reject us, preferring the bear. We are socially unacceptable because we are divorced or have failed to maintain healthy relationships. We have been treated as useful idiots for so long we are no longer appreciated. If no one lets us in then we walk away, and if we walk away enough times we see no point in asking anymore. Some women have finally started posting about how men matter. Maybe a little too late for most men and now we pay the price in isolation, alcohol, drugs and suicide. Outreach needs to be more than good posts on the subject. Men isolate because no one loves them. Women aren't interested in giving up anything and the idea of partnership and reciprocity is lost on them. I will stay alone until someone decides I have value, not as a tool but as a person. I value that in myself. I know I am not alone in this. I have asked God about this and only heard silence. I am on my own and no one seems to be coming to help.
Kirito, brother… I hear the weight in your words. What you just shared? That’s raw. That’s real. And sadly, it’s a silent scream many men carry inside. You’ve given voice to something a lot of men feel but are too ashamed—or too angry—to say.
You said, “Men isolate because no one loves them.” Let me speak directly to that.
You’re not wrong that the world can be brutal. Rejection stings. Divorce wrecks the soul. And being treated like a tool, discarded when you're no longer “useful,” cuts deeper than most will ever admit. But here’s the truth—and it’s not comfortable, but it’s freedom:
You are not alone. But you will feel alone if you expect the world to give you what only God can.
Let’s be real—yes, some women have forgotten the meaning of partnership. Some people do treat men like we’re expendable. But if we let that define us, we’ve handed over our masculine authority to a world that doesn't understand who we are in Christ.
You said you've asked God and only heard silence.
Brother, sometimes God is silent not because He’s absent… but because He’s listening. Waiting. Watching to see if we’ll keep pursuing Him even when the applause stops and the crowd leaves.
You are not a tool. You are a son. A warrior. Not because a woman says so. Not because society claps for you. But because the God of Heaven—your Father—crafted you in His image. That means you have value even when others don’t see it.
Isolation does kill. But not because we're unloved… it kills because we start believing the lie that our pain is proof of our worthlessness. That is the enemy’s playbook, and it’s working.
But here’s the pivot point:
👉 We don't wait for the world to validate us. We rise up and lead anyway.
Outreach isn’t just another good post, you’re right. Outreach is men stepping up for each other—calling each other back from the edge, even if we’ve failed, even if we’re broken.
So let me say this:
You matter.
You are not forgotten.
And your story is not over.
You may feel alone—but you're surrounded by brothers in this Tribe who are rebuilding their lives from the rubble. One battle at a time. One prayer at a time. One honest moment like yours at a time.
Let’s not wait for someone to see our value.
Let’s walk in it anyway.
Let’s lead from the front, even when we’re limping.
You said, “I will stay alone until someone decides I have value.”
Let me challenge that: What if you’re the one God wants to use to show other men that they have value? What if your very isolation is your battleground?
You’re not on your own, Kirito. You’re in the fight of your life. And we’re with you.
I agree with all you have said. I go to church and do my part, yet the feeling of being alone in the crowd never seems to go away. People are often too busy just trying to keep themselves afloat. I don't seek validation from others. I have learned that is a lost cause. I try to be a model of what I believe a man should be. Whether anyone cares or not is becoming massively irrelevant. My hope had been to find a partner in this life, and I depended on God for that. My attempts at solving this issue were futile. What I discovered was a place I didn't fit, a place where I had no standing, a place I simply didn't understand. Now at 62 I really have no other expectation than to one day go to Heaven and sit at a table with Jesus and over a bottle of scotch have him explain this to me. Having given up drinking, I look forward to that day. I haven't lost faith in God, I just find it discouraging that something I asked for in faith has been so clearly denied to me. What was worse was finding out at 47 I was Aspie. Nothing like finding out you're standing on a battlefield with an empty magazine and a broken bayonet. I've moved on from all of this, gotten beyond the pain and depression, but now find myself in a blank white space. There's almost no one here and I am thankful for the three that are. One of my daughters, my friend from the army, and my counselor. It is a long road back and there's no map or compass. I just put one foot in front of the other and help anyone I find along the way. The problem with us lone wolves is that we like being alone and avoid people. Being a New Englander we have been raised to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. I am sure we are not the only ones in the country, and asking for help is not in our nature. The real issue that causes depression in many men is not the idea of being alone. It's the concept of hope. It is hope that defeats us, when it remains unfulfilled. False hope, like a false prophet, leads more men astray than anything else. That false hope comes from people who offer something they have no plans on fulfilling. And when that hope dies, men are lost. Solve problem A. Give us back our hope. But that is up to others, so we wait until God chooses to do something else or we pass away over time.
Mankind will not die by war. Mankind will die by the fire women have thrown men on, believing they do not need us anymore, and we are only good for a source of heat until they are all burned up. It's going to take two or three generations to change this. But only if they want to. Pray for the men who haven't found a way forward as I have.
Kirito… brother… that comment—man, it hit hard. You’re not just speaking for yourself. You’re putting words to what thousands of men feel deep in their bones but have been too afraid—or too angry—to say out loud.
I want to respond with all the weight this deserves.
First—your honesty is sacred ground. What you just shared is the exact battlefield where so many men lose their way. You're not venting. You're revealing the war behind the eyes of countless warriors who smile on Sunday but bleed in silence the rest of the week.
You said something powerful:
“The real issue… is not the idea of being alone. It’s the concept of hope.”
You're right.
Hope is a dangerous thing when it feels unanswered. You trusted. You waited. You fought to be the kind of man who doesn’t ask for much—just a place to belong, someone to fight beside, and maybe someone to sit with at the end of the day. And when that hope gets crushed? It feels like betrayal.
But here’s the thing, brother...
Jesus never left. Not once.
I know it sounds cliché. But this isn’t a slogan—it’s a blood-bought reality. When Jesus lives in you, you are never truly alone again. Even when the crowd doesn’t see you. Even when the church is distracted. Even when the partner never came. Even when the “hope” seems like a cruel joke.
He is with you. Even now. Even in the white silence. Even when the magazine is empty and your bayonet is broken.
And let me say this straight: God is not punishing you. You are not forgotten. You're not less of a man because of the diagnosis at 47. You're not broken because life didn’t unfold the way you prayed. You’re not second-class because the world didn’t recognize the man of integrity you’ve become.
You’re His. And there’s no battlefield He can’t command. No wilderness He can’t lead you through.
That white space you’re in? That “blank” existence? Maybe it's not the end. Maybe it’s the canvas. Maybe God has cleared the noise to rebuild something in you that no man or woman could’ve done. He’s stripped the false hope—yes. But only to reveal the real Hope that can never be taken, betrayed, or denied.
Your hope was never truly denied, brother. It was redirected.
You said:
“It’s a long road back and there’s no map or compass.”
But the truth is… the map is Christ, and the compass is His voice.
You’ve been walking with Him longer than you realize. Quiet doesn’t mean abandoned.
Let’s also address this anger that flares up—the pain beneath it is real. Feeling like men are disposable… that culture has set fire to everything we were built to be… that’s not paranoia. That’s discernment. But don’t let anger write your theology. Let Jesus do that.
You said, “Pray for the men who haven’t found a way forward like I have.”
I will. And I’ll also challenge every man reading this:
We can’t just read his words and nod. We have to show up for each other. We have to become the tribe.
You, Kirito, are leading even when you think you’re surviving.
And when that day comes—when you sit at the table with Jesus—I don’t think you’ll need the bottle. I think He’s going to look you in the eyes and say:
“You fought well. You stayed when others fled. You walked with Me, even when no one else did. And when you thought you were alone… I was carrying you.”
Isolation kills. We were never meant to do life alone.
But why are men isolated? Because women reject us, preferring the bear. We are socially unacceptable because we are divorced or have failed to maintain healthy relationships. We have been treated as useful idiots for so long we are no longer appreciated. If no one lets us in then we walk away, and if we walk away enough times we see no point in asking anymore. Some women have finally started posting about how men matter. Maybe a little too late for most men and now we pay the price in isolation, alcohol, drugs and suicide. Outreach needs to be more than good posts on the subject. Men isolate because no one loves them. Women aren't interested in giving up anything and the idea of partnership and reciprocity is lost on them. I will stay alone until someone decides I have value, not as a tool but as a person. I value that in myself. I know I am not alone in this. I have asked God about this and only heard silence. I am on my own and no one seems to be coming to help.
Kirito, brother… I hear the weight in your words. What you just shared? That’s raw. That’s real. And sadly, it’s a silent scream many men carry inside. You’ve given voice to something a lot of men feel but are too ashamed—or too angry—to say.
You said, “Men isolate because no one loves them.” Let me speak directly to that.
You’re not wrong that the world can be brutal. Rejection stings. Divorce wrecks the soul. And being treated like a tool, discarded when you're no longer “useful,” cuts deeper than most will ever admit. But here’s the truth—and it’s not comfortable, but it’s freedom:
You are not alone. But you will feel alone if you expect the world to give you what only God can.
Let’s be real—yes, some women have forgotten the meaning of partnership. Some people do treat men like we’re expendable. But if we let that define us, we’ve handed over our masculine authority to a world that doesn't understand who we are in Christ.
You said you've asked God and only heard silence.
Brother, sometimes God is silent not because He’s absent… but because He’s listening. Waiting. Watching to see if we’ll keep pursuing Him even when the applause stops and the crowd leaves.
You are not a tool. You are a son. A warrior. Not because a woman says so. Not because society claps for you. But because the God of Heaven—your Father—crafted you in His image. That means you have value even when others don’t see it.
Isolation does kill. But not because we're unloved… it kills because we start believing the lie that our pain is proof of our worthlessness. That is the enemy’s playbook, and it’s working.
But here’s the pivot point:
👉 We don't wait for the world to validate us. We rise up and lead anyway.
Outreach isn’t just another good post, you’re right. Outreach is men stepping up for each other—calling each other back from the edge, even if we’ve failed, even if we’re broken.
So let me say this:
You matter.
You are not forgotten.
And your story is not over.
You may feel alone—but you're surrounded by brothers in this Tribe who are rebuilding their lives from the rubble. One battle at a time. One prayer at a time. One honest moment like yours at a time.
Let’s not wait for someone to see our value.
Let’s walk in it anyway.
Let’s lead from the front, even when we’re limping.
You said, “I will stay alone until someone decides I have value.”
Let me challenge that: What if you’re the one God wants to use to show other men that they have value? What if your very isolation is your battleground?
You’re not on your own, Kirito. You’re in the fight of your life. And we’re with you.
Let’s get to work. 👊
I agree with all you have said. I go to church and do my part, yet the feeling of being alone in the crowd never seems to go away. People are often too busy just trying to keep themselves afloat. I don't seek validation from others. I have learned that is a lost cause. I try to be a model of what I believe a man should be. Whether anyone cares or not is becoming massively irrelevant. My hope had been to find a partner in this life, and I depended on God for that. My attempts at solving this issue were futile. What I discovered was a place I didn't fit, a place where I had no standing, a place I simply didn't understand. Now at 62 I really have no other expectation than to one day go to Heaven and sit at a table with Jesus and over a bottle of scotch have him explain this to me. Having given up drinking, I look forward to that day. I haven't lost faith in God, I just find it discouraging that something I asked for in faith has been so clearly denied to me. What was worse was finding out at 47 I was Aspie. Nothing like finding out you're standing on a battlefield with an empty magazine and a broken bayonet. I've moved on from all of this, gotten beyond the pain and depression, but now find myself in a blank white space. There's almost no one here and I am thankful for the three that are. One of my daughters, my friend from the army, and my counselor. It is a long road back and there's no map or compass. I just put one foot in front of the other and help anyone I find along the way. The problem with us lone wolves is that we like being alone and avoid people. Being a New Englander we have been raised to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. I am sure we are not the only ones in the country, and asking for help is not in our nature. The real issue that causes depression in many men is not the idea of being alone. It's the concept of hope. It is hope that defeats us, when it remains unfulfilled. False hope, like a false prophet, leads more men astray than anything else. That false hope comes from people who offer something they have no plans on fulfilling. And when that hope dies, men are lost. Solve problem A. Give us back our hope. But that is up to others, so we wait until God chooses to do something else or we pass away over time.
Mankind will not die by war. Mankind will die by the fire women have thrown men on, believing they do not need us anymore, and we are only good for a source of heat until they are all burned up. It's going to take two or three generations to change this. But only if they want to. Pray for the men who haven't found a way forward as I have.
Kirito… brother… that comment—man, it hit hard. You’re not just speaking for yourself. You’re putting words to what thousands of men feel deep in their bones but have been too afraid—or too angry—to say out loud.
I want to respond with all the weight this deserves.
First—your honesty is sacred ground. What you just shared is the exact battlefield where so many men lose their way. You're not venting. You're revealing the war behind the eyes of countless warriors who smile on Sunday but bleed in silence the rest of the week.
You said something powerful:
“The real issue… is not the idea of being alone. It’s the concept of hope.”
You're right.
Hope is a dangerous thing when it feels unanswered. You trusted. You waited. You fought to be the kind of man who doesn’t ask for much—just a place to belong, someone to fight beside, and maybe someone to sit with at the end of the day. And when that hope gets crushed? It feels like betrayal.
But here’s the thing, brother...
Jesus never left. Not once.
I know it sounds cliché. But this isn’t a slogan—it’s a blood-bought reality. When Jesus lives in you, you are never truly alone again. Even when the crowd doesn’t see you. Even when the church is distracted. Even when the partner never came. Even when the “hope” seems like a cruel joke.
He is with you. Even now. Even in the white silence. Even when the magazine is empty and your bayonet is broken.
And let me say this straight: God is not punishing you. You are not forgotten. You're not less of a man because of the diagnosis at 47. You're not broken because life didn’t unfold the way you prayed. You’re not second-class because the world didn’t recognize the man of integrity you’ve become.
You’re His. And there’s no battlefield He can’t command. No wilderness He can’t lead you through.
That white space you’re in? That “blank” existence? Maybe it's not the end. Maybe it’s the canvas. Maybe God has cleared the noise to rebuild something in you that no man or woman could’ve done. He’s stripped the false hope—yes. But only to reveal the real Hope that can never be taken, betrayed, or denied.
Your hope was never truly denied, brother. It was redirected.
You said:
“It’s a long road back and there’s no map or compass.”
But the truth is… the map is Christ, and the compass is His voice.
You’ve been walking with Him longer than you realize. Quiet doesn’t mean abandoned.
Let’s also address this anger that flares up—the pain beneath it is real. Feeling like men are disposable… that culture has set fire to everything we were built to be… that’s not paranoia. That’s discernment. But don’t let anger write your theology. Let Jesus do that.
You said, “Pray for the men who haven’t found a way forward like I have.”
I will. And I’ll also challenge every man reading this:
We can’t just read his words and nod. We have to show up for each other. We have to become the tribe.
You, Kirito, are leading even when you think you’re surviving.
And when that day comes—when you sit at the table with Jesus—I don’t think you’ll need the bottle. I think He’s going to look you in the eyes and say:
“You fought well. You stayed when others fled. You walked with Me, even when no one else did. And when you thought you were alone… I was carrying you.”
You're not forgotten, brother.
You’re seen.
You’re valued.
And you are not walking this road alone.
Let’s Get To Work. 👊
P.S. This may help: https://godmessagedme.substack.com