Breaking Down the Walls: A Call to Radical Brotherhood
Stop Living in Comfort—Embrace Those Who Don’t Look Like You
"My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ." —James 2:1
Brother, it’s time to get uncomfortable. Let’s be honest—we’re naturally drawn to people who look like us, think like us, live like us, and sin like us. Whether we realize it or not, we tend to gravitate toward comfort zones. We build relationships with people who make us feel safe, who validate our choices, and who live in the same world we do. But if we’re serious about following Christ, we need to break down those walls of comfort and convenience and expand our brotherhood to include those who are nothing like us.
This isn’t just a small issue—it’s a big one. The Apostle James gives us a strong warning against showing partiality: "For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, ‘You sit here in a good place,’ while you say to the poor man, ‘You stand over there,’ or, ‘Sit down at my feet,’ have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?" (James 2:2-4).
Let’s not sugarcoat this—when we show partiality, we’re playing judge. And as men of God, that’s a dangerous role to take on. Our job isn’t to choose who’s worthy of our time, our friendship, or our service based on external factors. Our job is to love—radically, intentionally, and without favoritism.
Why Partiality Destroys Brotherhood
Partiality doesn’t just hurt those we reject—it hurts us too. Every time we choose to invest only in people who mirror our lives, we cut ourselves off from relationships that God has ordained for us. We close the door on opportunities to grow, to be challenged, and to experience the richness of diversity in God’s kingdom.
Here’s the reality: God didn’t call you to live in a comfortable bubble of like-minded friends. He called you to build a brotherhood that crosses all boundaries. Look at the life of Jesus—He spent time with fishermen, tax collectors, the poor, the wealthy, sinners, and outcasts. He didn’t form relationships based on status or appearance. He formed them based on purpose and kingdom calling.
When we ignore or exclude those who don’t look or live like us, we miss out on the fullness of God’s plan for our lives. We miss out on relationships that could sharpen us, stretch us, and help us grow into the men God has called us to be. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” But if you’re only surrounding yourself with people who look and think like you, where’s the sharpening happening?
The Harm of Forsaking Those Who Need You
Let’s get practical. Partiality means forsaking people God has specifically placed in your life to impact. When we reject or overlook people because they don’t fit our mold, we’re stepping out of God’s will. Jesus Himself commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). That means all neighbors—not just the ones who are easy to love.
Think about it—there are people in your circle right now who need your friendship, your support, your prayers. Maybe they’re going through something you’ve already walked through. Maybe God has prepared you specifically to be a light in their lives. But if you’re too busy hanging with the people who make you comfortable, you’ll never be the brother they need.
Here’s another hard truth: God uses those relationships to shape you too. The very people you might be tempted to avoid or overlook are often the ones God will use to challenge you, grow you, and deepen your faith. By shutting them out, you’re not just forsaking them—you’re forsaking your own growth.
A Call to Radical Brotherhood
So what’s the solution? It’s simple but not easy: Start building relationships that break your comfort zone. Look around—who are you spending your time with? If everyone in your circle looks like you, thinks like you, and lives like you, it’s time to make some changes. Seek out people who challenge you, who come from different backgrounds, who have different perspectives. This is how we grow.
In Proverbs 28:21, we’re warned: “To show partiality is not good, but for a piece of bread a man will do wrong.” Don’t let the comfort of familiarity rob you of the relationships God has for you. Don’t let partiality keep you from fulfilling your calling to love others as Christ loves us.
This is your wake-up call, brother. Break down the walls of partiality, and start building a brotherhood that reflects the diversity of God’s kingdom. Embrace the uncomfortable. Seek out those who need your friendship, even if they don’t look or live like you.
What Now?
Let’s get practical. It’s time to take a hard look at your relationships:
Who are you spending your time with? Do they all look and think like you?
Who are you overlooking or ignoring? Is there someone God has placed in your path that you’ve been avoiding because they’re different?
How can you take steps this week to break out of your comfort zone? Reach out to someone new. Start building relationships that stretch you.
Share in the comments below: Who is God calling you to reach out to that’s different from your usual circle?
Your brother in Christ,
Matthew Adams