Dear Beloved in Christ,
As you read these words, let your heart be open to a tale not often shared, the whispered thoughts of Judas Iscariot, once called to be a fisher of men alongside Jesus, the Messiah. My story is known to you, but not from its beginning, not from the days when hope and purpose burned brightly within me, before darkness overshadowed my path.
You might remember me for my infamous end, but there was a time when I walked in the light of our Master, witnessed His miracles, and was part of spreading His divine message. Like Jude Thomas, Jude Thaddaeus, or even Jude, the brother of Jesus, my name was common, yet my journey was anything but ordinary.
From the onset, I was different from my brethren, an outsider among the Twelve, marked by my distinct ways and thoughts. Despite these differences, Jesus saw something in me, entrusting me with the role of treasurer, a testament to His faith in my abilities, if not in my heart.
In those early years, my dedication was as fervent as any other apostle's. I too was sent out, bearing witness to the Kingdom of Heaven at hand, healing the sick, and marveling at the works of our Lord. Christ's love knew no bounds, not even for me, and in His eyes, I was an equal among His chosen.
Yet, as time passed, moments of unease began to knit themselves into my conscience. I recall a Sabbath, spent at the house of a Pharisee, where Jesus challenged the hollow righteousness of our hosts, advocating humility and true charity. His words were a balm to many but a sting to me, for I yearned for acceptance from those whose approval mattered least.
Jesus' teachings, profound in their simplicity, often laid bare the intentions of our hearts. He spoke of a kingdom not bound by earthly wealth or prestige, but one founded on sacrifice and service. Yet, as He unveiled the costs of discipleship, I found my spirit waning, caught between the allure of temporal gain and the demanding path of self-denial.
"Whoever is not with me is against me," Jesus declared, a pronouncement that echoed in the recesses of my soul (Matthew 12:30). With each passing day, my actions began to reflect a heart in turmoil, as I distanced myself from His teachings, ceasing to pray, to listen, to believe.
Beloved, my tale is not merely a recount of failings but a caution woven with regret. The journey with Christ demands everything, a truth I learned too late. The love He offers is boundless, yet it calls for a surrender I was not prepared to give.
To follow Jesus is to embark upon a path of constant reflection and sacrifice, to count the cost and find it worth every loss. It is a lesson of love, one that requires letting go of all we hold dear in this world for the sake of gaining what is truly invaluable.
As you walk with our Lord, consider what you are willing to relinquish in His name. Remember, the choice is stark; we are either with Him or against Him. Let not my downfall be your path; instead, let it be a beacon guiding you towards a faith that endures, a love that sacrifices, and a life that truly follows Him.
In His grace and with a heart longing for redemption,
Judas Iscariot
24-087 A Letter from Judas Iscariot to the Followers of Christ